sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
