he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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