i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
