You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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