so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
