Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
