i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
