Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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