yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
