i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
