This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
4 words: hood of his car
No subtext here. People are naked.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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