this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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