If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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