plz talk dirty to me
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
