I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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