I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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