don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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