ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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