White coat. Heels.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Randomize
