I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
