Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
