why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
