i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
