WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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