this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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