Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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