and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
People with herpes should wear stickers.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
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When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
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Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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