i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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