there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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