a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize