Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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