You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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