the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
