I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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