Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize