At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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