I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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