If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
