Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
