yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think my fart just growled at me.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I need water and some morals
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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