I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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