Well douche your snatch and let's go!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
