did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
