me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
