Pappa wants mamma naked
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize