nut hugger
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
