all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
