what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize