Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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