That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
