Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i wish my penis had a tongue
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
