so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just found puke in my bra..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
