Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Never joke about your clitoris.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
