this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
