11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
