TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
