i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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