This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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