I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
