porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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