Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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