If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
